Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Survivor 18-3: "Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This"


Previously: Jalapao eats bugs. Timbira has some personality issues. The first Exile takes place and Taj & Brendan share the Hidden Immunity Idol clue. Coach thinks that Tribal Council is a form of chemotherapy and Candace is sent packing. Who will be voted out...tonight?

Night 6 in Timbira and Erinn is worried that her previous pairing up with Candace may hurt her in the end. She spends some time backpedaling with the rest of the tribe. Coach interviews that this insults his intelligence and that of the rest of the tribe. Because he knows what everyone's thinking.

Credits. Sydney's got some serious blue in those eyes.

Sunrise on Day 7 and we're still in Timbira. Erinn is still a little weirded out by her position in the new tribe. She opines that she has to "outperform" in the next challenge, because she's feeling vulnerable.

Jerry decides to pass on breakfast, since it's beans. He hasn't eaten dinner the night before, and he thinks the beans are affecting his digestive system. He opts for a little rice instead. Jerry interviews that he's been to Afghanistan and doesn't like to show any weakness; maybe another day or so will have him feeling better. Jerry relaxes in the shelter. Erinn asks him how he's feeling, and he spouts the show's title.

Meanwhile in Jalapao, several tribe members are fishing in the water with the net. They're essentially catching bait, rather than the gigantic fish feast Stephen had expected. The net is too big to be a throw net, so perhaps maybe they should be stringing it across part of the river. They use the minnows to catch some larger fish. Stephen catches probably his first ever. JT catches a nice one, and the tribe has fresh fish. Joe says that the fish "tastes like victory." Maybe they shouldn't have used napalm to start the fire that morning?

Come on in, guys!

The reward challenge involves six tribe members being blindfolded and tied in pairs. They'll be guided by the seventh tribe member, through a maze to collect buckets, then out of the maze to a tower which will dispense water into the buckets. The bucket is brought to another station and dumped down a chute. When enough water goes down the chute, a flag wll raise for the tribe. Then the tribe does it again with dried corn from another tower. The prize is a tarp, umbrella, pillows, chairs and a hammock. Winning team chooses someone for Exile, exiled loser chooses a winner to join in the Exile Goodness.

Joe is calling for Jalapao, Debra is calling for Timbira. Survivors ready?...Go!

Probst's narration makes it tough to hear how the directions are going but it's pretty clear through the entire thing that Jalapao has their act together while Timbira, not so much. Brendan and Jerry practically leave the course altogether despite the directions they're given. They don't even have their bucket yet. Timbira tries stringing the entire team together into a train. Jalapao has the first flag up before Timbira has their first bucket of water in the chute. How Debra's shouting "Right! Right! Right!" can be so wrong is beyond me. Probst notes that Timbira is "really blowing this challenge." Jalapao's second flag goes up and that's that.

Coach lets out with a couple of nonverbal "argh""-type noises, and Stephen looks more taken aback by this than perhaps he ought. I'm thinking that there was some editing going on there, and Coach actually hollered something that they couldn't air.

Brendan is sent to Exile and he takes Taj with him again. Probst asks Spencer whether this is suspicious, and Spencer thinks not. Off they go to Exile. Before we go to commercials, Coach spouts a little more nonsense about winners and losers.

Timbira returns to camp and Coach is interviewing about his scream at the end of the challenge, what he described as a "primal yell" because he was so pissed off. See what I mean? This isn't anything like what we saw earlier. Debra (I think, the voice is off-camera) thinks it's counterproductive to give in to the anger. On camera, she thinks she let the team down somehow. Coach suggests NOT going into groups to discussed who screwed up today. Next thing we see, of course, is Coach and Tyson discussing who screwed up today. Tyson thinks it's somewhere between funny and empowering that Coach thinks of him as his "assistant coach", and notes that the rest of the tribe is seeing what he calls "a little bit of a schoolboy crush on me". He interviews that, who knows, maybe he'll be promoted. And if he gets put on the other tribe, he'll demand that they call him "Coach", too. And the weird thing is that I STILL can't tell if he was joking or not.

Jalapao, standing around and congratulating themselves. They put the tarp up over their shelter just in time for the rain.

Timbira, getting rained on. Coach interviews that Jalapao seems to be a dirtier group than they are, overall, so maybe they need the tarp and such more than Timbira does. Then he starts talking about how the pillows maybe weren't that comfortable and the blankets were probably scratchy anyway. (OK, I may have made that last part up.) He says that he doesn't care about comfort or shelter anymore. "Let me bury myself in the sand, get eaten by tarantulas, and bitten by snakes." As if he'd actually come through on that promise.

Exile "Island", as if the producers are kidding anyone. The urns are again waiting for Brendan & Taj, and this time it's Taj who gets the clue. They already know that the Hidden Immunity Idol is back at their camp somewhere, but now they know it's "surrounded by wood". Brendan thinks it's either in the shelter or near the Treemail area. That night, they concoct a means to ensure that they send someone they trust back to Exile should the HIIs not be found before the next time around. Taj tells Brendan to send Stephen; Brendan tells Taj that Sierra should go. They each agree to work their own tribemates, effectively setting up a four-person alliance that actually crosses the tribal lines. It's actually a pretty good idea, IF they can keep it quiet, and IF there are no tribe shakeups before the merge. In a very theatrical moment, Taj laughs about this plan evilly while thunder and lightning punctuate her glee.

Commercials. All the Kool Kids shop at JC Penney! And then they go to their boyfriend at the bodega where he works!

Jalapao's members all comment on how well they slept because of the tarp and blankets, etc, plus they engage in a little schadenfreude about how poorly Timbira probably did in the rain. Sandy jokes about what a sex kitten she is in the morning, and the others react appropriately.


Challenge Field. Brendan and Taj return from Exile. After taking Immunity back from Sandy, Probst explains the challenge. There are a half-dozen crates about four feet tall at the end of a course. Teams run down in pairs to roll the crates back to the near end. The crates are then arranged in a staircase fashion, but in addition to being set up that way, it has to be done in such a way that the tribe's name is spelled out on the side of the completed staircase. So it's a 3-D word puzzle, in a sense. Once the structure is completed, the entire tribe scales the structure and first team to the top, wins.

JT and Taj are first up for Jalapao; Debra and Brendan will start for Timbira. Survivors ready?...Go! Despite Timbira reaching their crate first, JT and Taj have a pretty good rhythm going, and they get their crate back first. Stephen and Sydney are out next for Jalapao, followed closely by Tyson and Sierra. They actually finish first, and now Erinn and Coach are way ahead of Joe and Sandy. Then it's Brendan and Jerry, and JT and Spencer. Jerry is clearly in bad shape by the time he gets back. Joe and Stephen hit the course, as do Coach and Tyson--I'm sorry, Coach and Coach. See? We all have to get into the habit. Heh. The Coaches get back first, and Tyson returns to the course with Brendan. Spencer and Taj go out for the last crate. Timbira gets back with their last crate, and the construction begins. JT seems to have a pretty good idea of what's going on, and so does Erinn. However, Erinn gets into a lot of confused discussion with the rest of the tribe, while Jalapao is moving smoothly. Despite the original lead, Jalapao gets their staircase together first and wins immunity. Timbira is disappointed, but Jerry looks nearly dead. In fact he makes a point of saying "I'm through. I'm finished." He interviews that he felt responsible because he's so weak, and he's a likely target for the Tribal Council that night.

Commercials. It just occurred to me that I never know who gets voted Player of the Week by all the people texting to Sprint. What to do? WHAT TO DO??

Back at camp, Jerry is trying to tough it out, but he's not quitting; they'll have to put him out. Meanwhile, in the river, the tribe is trying to figure out what went wrong at the challenge. Erinn thinks it was a kind of communication breakdown. Everyone else seems to want to move on and is deciding to send Jerry home because he's so sick. Naturally, Erinn is going to be relieved by this because of her perceived position, but naturally Coach (the douchey one, not Coach Jr.) turns this into her having an "evil sneer". Later, he notes to Coach Jr. that he was disgusted by "the look". In fact, this look was so disgusting that he's been practicing it so that he can show it to others. Coach interviews that he needs to keep Tyson on the same page with him, but he also needs to talk to Debra and Sierra.

Coach tells Debra and Sierra about it as well (fortunately this goes on before we see the three of them together), and Sierra's attitude is, of course Erinn's relieved not to be going this time. That's when Coach breaks out the dreaded I-word: Integrity. And in his eyes, Erinn has none. Ah, crap. It's just like divorce. Once that word comes out, there's no turning back. Now we're going to hear it a million times, just like we heard him say "cancer" last week. Sierra interviews that Coach can be all kinds of pissed off, but she's not going to ostracize Erinn about it. After all, it is a social game. In addition, even though they wanted to vote her off on Day One because she looked weak, she's not stupid. So as far as she's concerned it's bye-bye, Jerry this week.

Tyson talks to Jerry and gets him to believe that Erinn is going next and that nobody's thinking about voting him out. I don't see the point of this lie, frankly. Meanwhile, Brendan goes to the Treemail statue and finds the Hidden Immunity Idol stashed in a hidey-hole in the statue. He finds another place nearby to stash the HII.

The sun starts to go down and Jerry still isn't eating. Erinn is still worried about deflecting attention to Jerry without looking like she's throwing him under the bus. Jerry tells the tribe he's starting to feel better. Tyson thinks that Jerry should probably go, even if it means that they can't blindside Erinn. Not that her ouster would be a blindside, since she's fully expecting to go, dumbass.

Tribal Council. Probst asks Tyson about momentum. He thinks that Jalapao might be getting a little arrogant. Probst notes that Erinn appeared to have a plan but that things fell apart quickly anyway. Erinn agrees with this, pointing out that people argued with her just long enough that they lost time and, ultimately, the challenge. She notes that she was pretty frustrated by this. Brendan thinks that despite these problems, the tribe communicates very well, but Jerry disagrees, noting that if everyone had listened to a single person in the first place, they probably would have won. Probst uses this as an opportunity to ask who the tribe's leader should be. Jerry says it should be Brendan, which Coach doesn't necessarily agree with. He says that, while he isn't a named leader of the tribe, on Day One when they were on the truck (and not yet permitted to speak to one another), he was telling everyone "with [his] eyes" who was to retrieve what from the truck.

Erinn rolls her eyes so hard at this that you can actually hear them rattle against her skull. In fact, all of America probably sounds like a bunch of cans of spray paint for the same reason. Probst catches this and asks her about it. She holds her tongue but notes that while Coach is probably used to the position, Brendan appears to do it better. Coach attributes Erinn's attitude to a clash of personality. Erinn responds that she wasn't aware that there was a personality clash going on between them. She also says that Coach can be a little passive-aggressive about his suggestions. It's time to vote.

Coach and his jacket vote. Erinn votes for Jerry. Debra votes, Brendan votes. Jerry votes for Erinn. Tyson votes even though he doesn't have a coat to sling over his shoulder. Sierra votes. Again we get the point of view shot from the urn as Probst comes in for it.

The votes are read. Jerry, Jerry, Erinn, Jerry, Jerry and that's enough. Snuff! and it's Bye-bye, Jerry.
During his exit speech, we see that Coach wrote "Pimp Daddy" on his vote for Jerry. So again, Douche. Jerry notes that this game, with the 100-degree-plus heat and his inability to eat, was much tougher than his time in Afghanistan, and wishes the rest of his tribe well. Good exit, that.

Next time: Snakes! Sydney is a sexpot! Tyson loses his mind and Taj expands her evil plans.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Amazing Race 14-2: "Your Target Is Your Partner's Face"





Previously: Phil popped his eyebrow. Linda was berated for not actually racing. Everyone except Brad & Victoria fell on their asses with the cheese task. Preston had to CARRY Jennifer to the mat, and they lost anyway! I KNOW! Oh, and deaf people are now cool because Maggie & Luke came in first. If they hadn't, I guess they'd still be sitting at the Nerd Table in the corner during the Eat/Sleep/Mingle portion of the race.


Credits. Have you noticed that nobody's doing the head-turn this season? It was cheesy but now I miss it.


So we're in the Alps somewhere in southwest Switzerland, our first pit stop. Margie & Luke, of course, are the first out, at 2:56 AM. Teams are expected to fly to Munich, then drive themselves to the town of Ruhpoling. If you pronounce it correctly, "Ruhpoling" sounds like a bunch of people doing their impression of a famous drag queen. Anyway.


Once in Munich, teams have to ride a cable car to the top of a mountain, where their next clue awaits. Maggie & Luke interview the usual "Deaf people can do anything" rap, and it's already old.


Tammy & Victor are out next, only a minute later. They get into the cab and ask the driver to borrow a cell phone. They interview that Victor needs to break the big brother/little sister vibe, so I guess something's going to happen to underline that! What could it be?


Mark & Michael are third to depart. They note that their confidence level is..."right about here", they say, each holding a hand in the air to indicate altitude. I bet they feel five feet tall.


Mel and Mike are in fourth. They're about an hour and a quarter off the lead. Mel notes the pain in his groin from the last leg.


Amanda & Kris depart a half-hour after Mel & Mike. Amanda is a wreck, Kris is all about the stress. So far. Ten minutes later, it's Brad & Victoria on their way to the airport. They, too, are seen borrowing a phone, as are Jaime & Cara, who leave shortly after them.


Kisha & Jen get in a cab and borrow a phone and start taking notes. They, like Tammy & Victor, have an older/younger sibling thing going on.


Steve & Linda are hot on their heels. Steve is going for the redemption arc, noting that he was a little harsh on the last leg. Linda hopes there's a beer-related challenge in Germany. Christie & Jodi leave.


We have several cuts back and forth of all the teams on cell phones, trying to arrange flights. Everyone except the stuntmen, who think that Third Place is an excellent reason to rest on their laurels. Of course it is! Which means that by the time everyone gets to the airport, they have flights lined up. All except for the stuntmen.


At the airport, Mark & Michael are now scrambling for tickets. If only they'd called ahead.


The first flight, leaving at 7:10, has Jaime & Cara, Kisha & Jen, Steve & Linda, Margie & Luke, Mel & Mike, Brad & Victoria, Amanda & Kris, and Tammy & Victor. That's eight out of ten teams. The only reason Christie & Jodi missed out, despite calling ahead, was that there was only one seat left in Economy.


Teams race through the airport and find their cars. Off to the Autobahn! Margie & Luke pair up with the cheerleaders.


Tammy & Victor are the first to the cable car and barely make it onto the next one, leaving Amanda & Kris to wait fifteen minutes for the next one. At the top, it's a Roadblock: "Who's ready to fly like an eagle?" Steve Miller is nowhere in sight, so it's Tammy instead.


The teammate who's going to participate has to paraglide (in tandem) to the bottom of the mountain. The other team member has to take the cable car back down and wait for their partner at the landing area. However, if the wind conditions are unsafe, the instructors will suspend flights. Teams can choose to wait it out, or jog back down the mountain on a marked path, a trip of about one hour.


Kisha & Jen are lost. Rather than, say, ask directions, they just blunder their way around.


Back on the mountain. The wind is too strong to paraglide and teams are coming up the cable car. Tammy elects to jog down.


Kris, Cara, Margie and Mel elect to go down. Mel, however, has the bad leg so he exposits that he has no choice but to wait for the wind to die down.


We split-screen our way back to the airport, where the flight attendants and the stuntmen are arriving on the second flight. Mark (I think) needs to stop saying "rock and roll".


Victoria chooses the paragliding. Steve & Linda are on the way up and just plain enjoying the view. Because really, what else can you do at that point? It's a nice opportunity to relax for a few minutes. Steve interviews his admiration for Linda's overall positive attitude.


The mountaintop is still pretty windy. People are getting ready to bail out and just start walking down. Victoria is first. Well, second. Then Margie and Kris. Mel is looking worried, because he thinks he has no other choice but to wait for the wind to die down a little.
Linda suits up for gliding. She decides to just walk. Mel notes, "They're dropping like flies."
Assorted racers are seen following the marked path down the mountain. Mike is seen worrying about losing time.
The cheerleaders bail on the gliding just as the stuntmen arrive. Mel is worried because now the last-place team has caught up. He weakly tries to psych the others out, but they're not having it.
Everyone starts to walk down the trail. Mel thinks all is lost.
Commericals. I'm listening to a cow talking to me in Korean. Really?
Mel's still worried, as is Mike. Mel notes that he can't pray for divine intervention because God has better things to do. And, just like that, the wind changes. Nice one, God!
Tammy reaches the bottom of the mountain and they get the next clue. Teams now have to drive to the Schönau am Königsee, and find their next clue near the bobsled track.
Mel jumps off the mountain.
Margie reaches the bottom, then Kris. Margie & Luke map it out, Amanda & Kris get directions from a local, most of which involves big sweeping arm gestures "that way, then that way."
Victoria gets to the bottom. Incidentally, I think this episode has more instances of the camera crew getting their shadows into shots than all other episodes of the entire series combined. If you made a drinking game out of this show, "camera crew in the shot" would be a big item, because they're usually so good at staying out of it. But you're getting drunk tonight!
Mike is in the cable car, watching Mel glide down. Mel is awed by the view and notes that he could stay up there all day, if he had a sandwich. Heh. Upon his landing, they've gone from last to fifth.
Linda misses a marker and goes the wrong way. Cara and Mark are shown catching the same sign and going in the correct direction.
Tammy & Victor get to Schönau am Königsee, and it's a Detour. The choice: Balancing Dolly or Austrian Folly. In Balancing Dolly, teams have to ride a Segway through a two-mild obstacle course. Because this is what Bavaria is known for...? In Austrian Folly, teams have to throw cakes at a target to find the one with the cherry filling. And the target? Duh, read the episode title. But the teams won't know that part till they get there. Tammy & Victor choose Austrian Folly.
It is indeed a beer-related task. Unfortunately for Linda, the only beer drinking going on is the batch of locals in the tent with the pies. So there's music, and merriment, and general hilarity going on as the teams enter. A banner strung across the ceiling of the tent reads (in that fancy Bavarian-type script), "Achtung Baby! your target is your partner's face. [sic]". Tammy geniuses, "I think we throw at each other." Let the pie-throwing begin! There are a few tosses back and forth, and Tammy thinks she got cream in her eye. Insert your own porno joke here.
Victor takes the cherry hit and they get their next clue. They have to make their way on foot to find a couple of woodcutters, who will cut a small piece of wood from a log. The wood will then be stamped with their next clue. The part they're not told is that the woodcutters are mechanical. I presume that this gizmo is a tourist thing, since there's a whole deal for putting a coin in a box to activate them, and I guess the regular tourists would get something other than a clue stamped on their chunk of wood.
Tammy & Victor get directions to the woodcutters and the clue tells them to drive themselves to Schloss Helbrunn, where the Amazing Mat is located. Last team to check in may be eliminated.
Or perhaps you knew that.
Tammy & Victor are so far ahead that they consider it a "leisurely stroll" to the pit stop.

Linda is still lost on the mountain. Mark and Cara arrive at the bottom and are on their way to Schönau am Königsee. Jen gets to the botttom and they're off. Linda finally emerges by the side of a highway and is worried that Steve is going to hate her now. More crying on her part.
The flight attendants are reunited and read the clue: "Drive yourselves to...that word." Nice job, World Traveler.
Linda is walking along the road now. Commericals.
When we come back, Linda actually manages to hitch a ride with someone back to the cable cars. I'm sure they'd incur a penalty for that, but whatever.
Tammy & Victor, you are Team Number One. And for their efforts, they've each won a hybrid go-kart. Phil notes that the two of them, with the cake all over themselves, look either ridiculous or becoming.
Amanda & Kris take the Austrian Folly detour. They find the cherry in short order. As they look for the woodcutters, they remark that the pie is pretty tasty.
Linda is reunited with Steve, finally, but they're in last place. We get some interview from Steve
about how he respects her for her ability to race with the twenty year olds, and it's pretty clear from the food all over him which detour they chose.
Amanda & Kris head for the pit stop.
Mel & Mike opt for the Segway detour; Margie wants to do the pies, Luke wants to ride the Segways. Mom, of course wins. Luke interviews, "What can I do? She's my mother." Heh.
Some cutting back and forth with the Segways and the pies. Margie & Luke appear to be taking longer than the previous two teams. And, in fact, Mel & Mike do finish first. Luke is getting pretty frustrated. Mel & Mike get their wooden clue and head for the pit stop.
Kisha and Jen are lost again. The flight attendants head for the detour. Steve & Linda are having some healing time. Split-screen back to the pies and Margie & Luke FINALLY find the right one. Brad & Victoria start hurling pies and seem to find the cherry in short order. Off to the wooden clue and the pitstop.
The cheerleaders go for the Segways, as do the stuntmen. The flight attendants can't find the detour clue and Kisha & Jen, of all people, have to give them directions.
Amanda & Kris get directions to the pit stop. Mel & Mike arrive there and are stymied by the iron gate. Mike pulls and pulls on the gate and finally decides to try climbing over it. This leads to an uber-browpop from Phil, looking directly into the camera.
Amanda & Kris arrive. Mike climbs down off the gate and a third party simply lifts the latch and opens it. Mel & Mike, you are Team Number Two. Amanda & Kris check in shortly therafter.
The cheerleaders finish up and head for the pit stop. Margie & Luke are checked in as Team Number Four. Brad & Victoria check in.
Mark & Michael , and Kisha & Jen get the wood clues and head for the pitstop. You can see the sun's starting to go down.
The flight attendants are throwing pies at one another.
Darkness falls. We get a graphic telling us that the leg is now 14 hours old. Is that all? Jaime & Cara are Team Number Six.
Steve & Linda arrive at the Detour, but we already know which one they choose. The flight attendants read the clue: "Time to hoof it. Get a piece of wood..." They start looking around and find someone who explains that one of the words refers to cutting wood.
Steve & Linda begin throwing food. The flight attendants are wandering around, not knowing what they're supposed to be doing. One of them actually picks up a chunk of 2x4 and they start looking for someone to stamp it. Steve & Linda are making a game of the pie throwing.
The flight attendants are still disoriented. I think maybe it's because they're not used to facing forward on the planes that's got them all discombobulated. Steve & Linda find the cherry pie. The blondies, meanwhile, think that maybe if they simply walk through the Segway "Finish" gate, that'll be the end of it. This doesn't work, go figure. Commercials.
When we come back, Steve & Linda, and Christie & Jodi are still wandering about looking for the wooden clue. Kisha & Jen are disoriented yet AGAIN. The stuntmen appear to be lost as well.
A local finally directs the attendants to the woodcutter clue. One of them notes, "We've got to stop being so literal." So she gets points for the self-assessment. Steve & Linda get their clue.
Christie & Jodi are looking for directions and it turns out they're pointed the wrong way. Linda has an idea of where to go, but pointing in the right direction isn't enough for Steve.
Kisha & Jen are Team Number Seven. Mark & Michael are Team Number Eight.
Christie & Jodi and Steve & Linda appear to be in a footrace, at least as they arrive at the pit stop in the cars. But when Christie & Jodi arrive on the Amazing Mat, the other team is nowhere in sight. Phil has plenty of time to tell them to get their asses in gear.
Steve & Linda check in and are Philiminated. For a change, it's Steve who breaks down and starts crying, but Linda joins in with him. In a reasonably classy move, he notes it as a team failure, not Linda's screwing up. So, happy ending for those two anyway, I guess.
Next Week: Gymnastics in Romania, Amanda & Kris may be in trouble because of a lost fanny pack, and Tammy & Victor are starting to fray around the edges a little more.